On our way home, I asked him to go back to the time period when he felt tired with his friend. (I wanted to use this as a real life learning example for him.)

I asked him to think back to what was going through his mind and what he was feeling.  Of course at first his response was, “I don’t know.” My response was yes you do know, now sit with it and get your thoughts and feelings around that time period.

Sure enough, he said to me, “I felt like I might get judged by her.”  I exclaimed, “Perfect!” “What else?” I asked him to reflect on if he felt: too young, too short, too skinny, hair too short, not good enough etc.

He answered, “Yes, a lot of those things.”

I let him know that the ego/mind is in charge of keeping us safe. It is the part of us that tells us that someone else is judging us and what they are ‘probably’ saying and that we need to get out of there FAST! My son wanted to stay but the ego/mind was screaming, “Red alert! Judging! Get out of here and fast!” But he stayed and got fatigued because his energy drained out of his emotional body. Too ‘scary’ to stay, to painful to be judged were probably the thoughts that were coming to him (consciously and subconsciously).

I reminded him how ‘tricky’ the ego can be and that so much of what it whispers to us is not true. It’s our job to disagree with the ego mind and only put in statements that are positive and empowering and not buy into the limiting beliefs such as what happened to him.

At 42 years old, I, like all of us deal with the ego mind. I loved this example of how it sneaks up on us and can create fatigue. Empower yourself with your thoughts and watch your energy amplify in minutes.

This is a beautiful excerpt from the book Nourishing Traditions that reminds us the importance of being present in performing every daily task, even preparing our meals.

“If woman could see the sparks of light going forth from her fingertips when she is cooking and the substance of light that goes into the food she handles, she would be amazed to see how much of herself she charges into the meals that she prepares for her family and friends.

It is one of the most important and least understood activities of life-that the radiation and feeling that go into the preparation of food affect everyone who partakes of it, and this activity should be unhurried, peaceful and happy.  It would be better that an individual did not eat at all than to eat food that has been prepared under a feeling of anger, resentment, depression or an outward pressure, because the substance of the lifestream performing the service flows into that food and is eaten and actually becomes part of the energy of the receiver.  That is why the advanced spiritual teachers of the East never eat food prepared by anyone other than their own chelas.  Conversely, if the one preparing the food is the only one in the household who is spiritually advanced and an active charge of happiness, purity and peace pours forth into the food from him, this pours forth into the other members and blesses them.  I might say that there are more ways than one of allowing the Spirit of God to enter the flesh of man.”  (Maha Chohan Electrons)

As my day went on, I realized an hour had gone by since our interaction and I was still holding the negative emotions from our interaction.

When I tuned into my body, I felt shortness of breath, a knot in my stomach and a heaviness on my chest.

Thinking back to our interaction I realized (1) there was no solution to the problem (I could not fix her or the problem) and (2) I am allowing someone outside of myself to ruin my mood, my health and as time went on, my day.

By holding all of this negative energy, it hurts no one but me!

If I could see inside my body, I would guess my blood pressure had risen dramatically, the aging process had been accelerated due to all the stress chemicals being released and by holding this negative emotion to me to it disconnecting me from my connection to God/the universe. It’s like pinching off a hose with water running through it. I am doing this to myself!

So when in a mood or emotional place like this, with no resolution what can we do?

A technique that I find works remarkably well for instances like this is called The Sedona Method.

With the Sedona Method we ask ourselves a series of questions regarding our mood and/or emotional state. The question and response dialogue used with Sedona creates an outlet for stored negative emotion(s) to exit.

Here are the steps of this process: (I will use my experience as an example)

1. Ask yourself: “What is my NOW feeling?   (ANGER)
2. “Could I welcome or allow it?”  (YES)
3. “Could I let it go?”   (YES)
4. “Would I let it go?” (YES)
5. “When?”  (Now)

While asking these questions to yourself really tune into your body, many times you will actually feel the energy/emotions release out of your body. Really sit with each response to the question. Be honest with yourself.

If you should get a “No” answer to any of these questions, ask yourself this question: “Would you rather feel that feeling or be free?” Allow yourself to really sit with your response. Be easy on yourself with the answer, this is a process.

You can use this with yourself or with another person and ask them the questions. The idea behind this method is to continue to release emotions until you reach either a neutral or a happy place. For me, I released anger, frustration, resentment, fear then annoyance which eventually got me to a neutral place.  With each round my negative feeling state lessened.

Our emotions are layered and we must work through the layers to find neutral. The nice thing about Sedona is the speed at which you are able to shift. An experience like this for me took as little as 10 minutes to find neutral or happiness. Once you work this technique a few times you’ll find it to be as fast as it is easy to use.

For more information on the Sedona Method go to: www.sedona.com

Speaking up for ourselves is not about being mean, it’s taking care of ourselves and setting a boundary. A boundary simply teaches others how you want to be treated.

When we speak up, it gives the other person the opportunity to self reflect, look inside themselves and contemplate their words and actions. This ultimately is where authenticity is born, from going within and acting from our highest good. Therefore, it’s as much of a growing opportunity for you as the other person.

Speaking up is healing on may levels, don’t miss the opportunity to become more authentic.

When we are confronted with a situation that we cannot repair, the next step simply for ourselves is acceptance. Put down your boxing gloves and just accept what is happening, it’s out of your control. By accepting the situation, our life energy is able to flow again, the depression/anxiety/rage dissipates and the dust settles. Clarity is the predominant state when we choose to accept a situation that we cannot change.

Acceptance is not for the benefit of the other person, it is for you and your own healing.