“One of the most important ways to develop self worth is to respect yourself. This means not putting yourself down and learning to assert yourself when you feel that your boundaries have been crossed or ignored.” -Author Unknown
On the heels of the last post, Talk Back, this quote caught my eye as it touches on some of my favorite topics: self worth, self talk and boundaries.
I hear time and time again, “I am not worthy… (of this or that)” or the excuse of… “Must be my worthiness issue.” This quote sums up the importance of not only setting boundaries but speaking up for ourselves when someone has crossed that fine line of one of our boundaries.
What is more common is to beat up on ourselves when someone does or says something not nice or WHAT WE PERCEIVE to be not nice. It may have nothing to do with us; but, our inner critic has a field day with negative self talk.
When we speak up for ourselves either to that inner critic OR to someone that crossed one of our boundaries, it is an act of self love and respect which only creates self worth.
Much to my mother’s surprise I am going to spend a few moments encouraging you to TALK BACK!
Disempowerment, depression, anxiety, simple stress, big stress, loss of focus, anger, over eating, drinking or spending, suffering of any kind, the list goes on and on….All of this starts with a thought.
It’s time to monitor our thoughts! Each experience we have whether it be negative or positive begins with a simple thought. The question is, do we choose to buy into it or not. The key word being CHOOSE.
We CAN disagree with what we are hearing in our minds.We are not helpless to our thoughts. Our thoughts randomly and continuously come throughout the day. It’s time we ask ourselves, “Do they make me feel good?” OR “Do they make me feel bad?” It’s time we pay attention to what’s free flowing out of our minds. When the first, very small negative thought occurs, pay attention and notice that another one follows a bit larger than the first, then the next a bit larger etc. It’s very rare that we get hit with a whallop of negative thoughts at once. BUT, the small one’s can build into giant one’s in about a minute. This is due to Continue Reading
This is an amazing video from the TED conference on vulnerability. Stepping into vulnerability can change a person from the inside out. It will also improve all relationships. This video gives fabulous reasons why vulnerability is something we all need to consider and step into.
December 31st is the day that everyone around the world creates their new year’s resolutions. I know at my gym I will not be able to find an elliptical machine and have to wait to get on the nautilus because of all of the people that have resolved to lose weight and get in shape this year. The good news is that by mid February the gym will be back to normal because everyone will have given up on most of their resolutions and gone back to “normal.”
With such great intentions and excitement on New Years to make our life changes, it’s interesting to me that so many of us can’t make that change and hold it not only for the remainder of the year but for their lifetime!
I have a theory on why this is and what to do about it.
When we have an idea, it comes from our conscious mind, a thought. On New Year’s Eve, we have thoughts about what changes we would like to make within our lives for the year. We decide, “THIS is how I am going to change and I’m sticking to it!”
The problem with just a conscious thought about a change is just that, it’s just a thought about it. To make a lasting change, it needs to become a belief, to go deeper into our mind, our subconscious. This is when Continue Reading
A few months ago my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. It’s been an interesting journey and have had many epiphanies that I am excited to share.
The question that my mother has asked since her diagnoses is, “How did this happen to me?” Being that she is in my family, she has been exposed to the Law of Attraction (what you think about comes about/manifests in your life.)
My mother’s mother died of breast cancer and my mother’s sister is a survivor of breast cancer. With this disease “running in the family” my mother decided long ago that this was “not for her” and “she would never get cancer.” She held the belief, “I’ll never get breast cancer.” My belief has always been that a gene may run in the family but it’s the vibration of the illness and buying into it that gets passed down the family.
Because of my mother now developing this disease she has asked me repeatedly about how she “attracted” this in. I am not God but I do have my theories…
The Law of Attraction states that “Like attracts Like” and “What you think about comes about.” These are cute little statements but what do they really mean and how do they really work. Continue Reading
This morning I woke up feeling overwhelmed as I had a “to do list” longer than the hours in a day and it just kept growing. This anxiety had been coming on for days as my work schedule, kids sports and school schedule, and simply maintaining a home was taking over my life and the hours in a day to “get it all done” seemed to evaporate and before I knew it I would be looking at 11pm every.
My mind kept telling me that it would only get worse as the work/travel for work/sports/school- schedule went on. Less time, more to do, less time, more to do….(the broken record in my head). I began hearing myself state to my friends and family, “I have no time to get it all done!”” I’ll never get everything done.” “I’m so stressed!”
The kind, ever so perfect universe and the law of attraction simply matched my thoughts and beliefs of “so stressed and not enough time” and created for me more and more items on my to do list! So today I awoke with rapid heartbeat and the slight anxiety that I had had for days was full on anxiety, as I replayed my drama in my head.
I knew the only way out of this anxiety was to sit. Meditation is THE BEST drug on the market AND it’s FREE! My ego/mind kept Continue Reading
In my meditation this morning, I was sitting in silence and began asking a few questions about my day and how I may serve. I immediately “knew” the answers. It happened so quickly it amazed me.
I realized that all of life’s answers are in the present moment because this is where God sits and waits, patiently, lovingly and without judgment, for us to come and merge with him.
When we sit present moment and stop our thoughts, we begin to feel and remember we are part of something MUCH greater. We merge with the divine and we remember there is no separation, only the oneness. It is the ego that wants us to believe we are separate, not worthy, not good enough, not loveable etc. and wants to pull us away from the silence, the oneness.
I was amazed at what I automatically just knew this morning. Even more than what I knew it was the feeling that came over me, the calmness and peace. God emerges through us and we step into the all knowing stream of truth. All of the answers and wisdom that we seek are sitting there waiting for us in the present moment. Continue Reading
What we focus on determines our state. When something happens in our day, we get to choose how we see it-through the eyes (or filter) of the love end of the spectrum or from the fear end of the spectrum. If we choose to see something from the fear side of the spectrum, we may experience anger, fear, frustration or perhaps resentment. It’s all a choice. Have you ever been with someone and watched a movie with them and you cry and they don’t or vice versa? Have you ever been with a group of friends and someone in that group told you about something that happened to them and that friend was raging mad and upset about it. But as you listened, you could not understand why she was so upset; in fact half the group could not see it. This is due to our filters of how we see and experience the world. If our filters are set in more of the fear spectrum, we will have experiences in our lives that get us upset or angry easily. We tend to experience more of the victim mentality if our filters are set down in fear.
Likewise, if we have filters that are more on the love side of the spectrum, we don’t get bothered by much and have happy, balanced days most days. It takes a lot to get us down. It’s like that saying goes, “Is Continue Reading
My 12 year old recently saw an old friend that he hadn’t seen in over a year. He was excited to see his friend but after spending just 30 minutes with her he said he felt really tired and was having a hard time hanging out with her (because of the fatigue). When he commented to me about the fatigue I asked him to contemplate what he was thinking/saying to himself, and sent him back to play. I knew intuitively that he was not physically tired but that it was an emotional/energy drain.
On our way home, I asked him to go back to the time period when he felt tired with his friend. (I wanted to use this as a real life learning example for him.)
I asked him to think back to what was going through his mind and what he was feeling. Of course at first his response was, “I don’t know.” My response was yes you do know, now sit with it and get your thoughts and feelings around that time period.
Sure enough, he said to me, “I felt like I might get judged by her.” I exclaimed, “Perfect!” “What else?” I asked him to reflect on if he felt: too young, too short, too skinny, hair too short, not good enough etc.
In addition to meditation, I use a variety of breathing techniques that create a balanced state. One of them that I love is “Pulling in Light.”
Here’s how to do it:
Imagine a round ball of light (like a disco ball) about 2 feet above your head.
Take a deep breath in and imagine from the disco ball, light coming down through the ball in through the crown of the head and into the body. Imagine the light being any color that comes to mind OR a golden or white light. This light rests first in the heart then after filling up the heart center and lung area, it moves down with every inhalation, filling up the solar plexus (3rd chakra area -above the naval), then the 2nd chakra, (below the belly button) and eventually the light pulls into the ground roots us on the earth. See the roots shooting from the bottom of your feet into the earth.
Next, imagine the light coming down through your crown and resting in the throat area and now filling this area up. Next, pull the light into the 6th chakra/3rd eye (between the brows) and lastly, imagine the light coming into the top of the head (crown) and then shooting back up to the heavens.
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