Everyone said thank you and how sorry they were for saying they were coming and then cancelling at the last minute etc. I felt nothing after the first few regrets came in but then began feeling an angry monster inside of me start to awaken with every regret that came in thereafter. A few of my friends commented that it was awful to cancel so last minute etc. This was like throwing fuel on the fire. I could feel this anger rise up inside of me and I began to chime in with my friends on how terrible it was then I decided to stop. DECIDED is the key word here.

I was about to text one of my friends in the class (that was coming) and I stopped dead in my tracks and put my phone down. I said to myself, “why do I need to create drama around this?” “It’s not personal…” “In fact it’s actually a good thing…” “Now I have an entire day to myself to work on my blogs and ebook!” What a blessing in disguise! There is always a silver lining to every cloud, we have to choose to see it!

What I realized was how quickly we all create drama. When we buy in to disappointment  and make it about us and how sad “it” is that “this” happened to us we have created drama. Then we have friends and family feeling sorry for us, talking about how terrible “so and so treated us” blah blah blah. I decided I am NOT going there anymore! I sat and tried to find one positive quality to drama and realized, there is NOTHING good about it!

When I responded to a couple people with, “No big deal, I’ve moved on, going to make great use of my day off,” the drama stopped. The response I got was much different. It changed their response from, “I’m so sorry” to “Good for you!”

In every moment we create our realities. By me falling into the victim trap of making it about me and it’s so sad, etc. I’m only creating more of that for me.

None of us need drama in our lives. It doesn’t serve us! It’s distracting, a waste of time, throws us emotionally out of balance  into the victim place and is completely inauthentic. Yet, the temptation increases to go there when life hands us the short end of the stick. We must be strong and resist the minds trickery, to suck us into the victim/drama place. We feel much better when we rise above and stay in the empowered place…ALWAYS.

Getting Real: Ten Truth Skills You Need to Live an Authentic Life by Dr. Susan M. Campbell

To live an authentic life we must make commitments for ourselves and stick with them. Fear leads us down the “I’ll try” path. It’s our way out, our excuse before we fail. We set ourselves up to fail by using the word try.

My husband recently said to me, “I am going to try and get up early to get an extra early start to work Monday morning.” (He is NOT a morning person and getting up early is NOT his thing). I responded, “If you really want to get up early, then don’t try, just do it!” “Make that commitment to yourself.”

When we come home at the end of the day, we don’t walk in the house and try and sit on the couch. We just sit, we are clear, we are tired and need some relief on our legs, time to sit. When we are thirsty, we don’t try and drink a glass of water, we drink the water!

Think of all of the things in our lives we ‘try’ and do…

Lose weight, commit to an exercise plan, get a new hobby or job, meditate, make new friends, get involved with a charity, watch less television, read a new book a month etc.

Trying doesn’t work! We must clearly decide and commit to either doing something or not. When we do, a tidal wave of energy lines up with our intention and it’s difficult for our desire not to happen.

When we are faced with making a decision or commitment, pause, check in with the true heart feeling about it. If it feels right in the moment then commit 100%. If more time is needed then tell the person, “I’ll get back with you with a response.” Use that time to really get clear on what the heart is saying. What’s our truth, a clear yes or a clear no? Do not respond with “I’ll try” or “maybe.”

We must push ourselves to be our best by committing to things in life that make us all that we can be. Holding a clear intention of commitment to anything from attending a party to losing 30 pounds is powerful. Isn’t it time to push through fears of “being scared,”  “not ready yet” or “it’s too hard”? No more excuses, don’t try, just do, your life is waiting.

Speaking up for ourselves is not about being mean, it’s taking care of ourselves and setting a boundary. A boundary simply teaches others how you want to be treated.

When we speak up, it gives the other person the opportunity to self reflect, look inside themselves and contemplate their words and actions. This ultimately is where authenticity is born, from going within and acting from our highest good. Therefore, it’s as much of a growing opportunity for you as the other person.

Speaking up is healing on may levels, don’t miss the opportunity to become more authentic.