On our way home, I asked him to go back to the time period when he felt tired with his friend. (I wanted to use this as a real life learning example for him.)

I asked him to think back to what was going through his mind and what he was feeling.  Of course at first his response was, “I don’t know.” My response was yes you do know, now sit with it and get your thoughts and feelings around that time period.

Sure enough, he said to me, “I felt like I might get judged by her.”  I exclaimed, “Perfect!” “What else?” I asked him to reflect on if he felt: too young, too short, too skinny, hair too short, not good enough etc.

He answered, “Yes, a lot of those things.”

I let him know that the ego/mind is in charge of keeping us safe. It is the part of us that tells us that someone else is judging us and what they are ‘probably’ saying and that we need to get out of there FAST! My son wanted to stay but the ego/mind was screaming, “Red alert! Judging! Get out of here and fast!” But he stayed and got fatigued because his energy drained out of his emotional body. Too ‘scary’ to stay, to painful to be judged were probably the thoughts that were coming to him (consciously and subconsciously).

I reminded him how ‘tricky’ the ego can be and that so much of what it whispers to us is not true. It’s our job to disagree with the ego mind and only put in statements that are positive and empowering and not buy into the limiting beliefs such as what happened to him.

At 42 years old, I, like all of us deal with the ego mind. I loved this example of how it sneaks up on us and can create fatigue. Empower yourself with your thoughts and watch your energy amplify in minutes.

To live an authentic life we must make commitments for ourselves and stick with them. Fear leads us down the “I’ll try” path. It’s our way out, our excuse before we fail. We set ourselves up to fail by using the word try.

My husband recently said to me, “I am going to try and get up early to get an extra early start to work Monday morning.” (He is NOT a morning person and getting up early is NOT his thing). I responded, “If you really want to get up early, then don’t try, just do it!” “Make that commitment to yourself.”

When we come home at the end of the day, we don’t walk in the house and try and sit on the couch. We just sit, we are clear, we are tired and need some relief on our legs, time to sit. When we are thirsty, we don’t try and drink a glass of water, we drink the water!

Think of all of the things in our lives we ‘try’ and do…

Lose weight, commit to an exercise plan, get a new hobby or job, meditate, make new friends, get involved with a charity, watch less television, read a new book a month etc.

Trying doesn’t work! We must clearly decide and commit to either doing something or not. When we do, a tidal wave of energy lines up with our intention and it’s difficult for our desire not to happen.

When we are faced with making a decision or commitment, pause, check in with the true heart feeling about it. If it feels right in the moment then commit 100%. If more time is needed then tell the person, “I’ll get back with you with a response.” Use that time to really get clear on what the heart is saying. What’s our truth, a clear yes or a clear no? Do not respond with “I’ll try” or “maybe.”

We must push ourselves to be our best by committing to things in life that make us all that we can be. Holding a clear intention of commitment to anything from attending a party to losing 30 pounds is powerful. Isn’t it time to push through fears of “being scared,”  “not ready yet” or “it’s too hard”? No more excuses, don’t try, just do, your life is waiting.

When we begin asking ourselves “How does this make me feel” throughout the day we begin to shift our energy into the right brain, the intuitive, feeling part of our brain. This is where we connect into our essence, our soul, God. This question pulls our energy from the head and places it in our heart.

Many of us sit with unanswered questions about a relationship, a job, moving etc. we try so hard to ‘figure it out’ (which puts our energy in the head) when all we need to do is ‘sit with it’ in the heart and feel our truth. When we choose to feel something we get the answer from our divine essence, our soul, it’s the highest truth. We cannot get it wrong.

Start asking yourself, “How does this make me feel?” then come up with your feeling. Just be with it. There is nothing to ‘do’ with it. When we feel like we would like to take action or tell someone etc. we have shifted back into our left brain, our logical side, we have given power to the ego to take over. The ego reacts from fear, this will get us nowhere. Staying in the heart is the most empowering choice we can make for ourselves.

I noticed while stopping at a red light yesterday, I (unconsciously) picked up my cell phone. I was going to read a text and email. I instead sat there, radio off, put the phone down and asked myself ‘how do I feel?’ I was surprised to find that I felt uncomfortable with sitting there doing nothing! So I sat with my ‘uncomfortable’ feeling. This feeling dissipated after a minute and then I felt neutral. I was so excited that I pushed through! It was incredibly empowering. Every other red light I came to I just sat, present moment and was ‘with’ myself, completely. It felt amazing!

We can’t minimize the little moments like the red lights. We must find present moment and stay in our feeling place with the big moments and small. In our society we have a million things that can distract us and pull our attention away from the present moment, cell phones, texting, emails and computers are some of the biggest.

By continuing to ask ourselves this question, neurological pathways will re-route in the brain. Before you know it you will not have to think to ask yourself this question, it will become automatic.

When we are with our feelings, good or bad, we will stop reacting to what people say or do. The moment we react, we have given our power away, no one can take our power, it is only given. Sit and feel to find your truth, and hold your power. Ask yourself the question, “How does this make me feel,” and change your life forever.

This is a beautiful excerpt from the book Nourishing Traditions that reminds us the importance of being present in performing every daily task, even preparing our meals.

“If woman could see the sparks of light going forth from her fingertips when she is cooking and the substance of light that goes into the food she handles, she would be amazed to see how much of herself she charges into the meals that she prepares for her family and friends.

It is one of the most important and least understood activities of life-that the radiation and feeling that go into the preparation of food affect everyone who partakes of it, and this activity should be unhurried, peaceful and happy.  It would be better that an individual did not eat at all than to eat food that has been prepared under a feeling of anger, resentment, depression or an outward pressure, because the substance of the lifestream performing the service flows into that food and is eaten and actually becomes part of the energy of the receiver.  That is why the advanced spiritual teachers of the East never eat food prepared by anyone other than their own chelas.  Conversely, if the one preparing the food is the only one in the household who is spiritually advanced and an active charge of happiness, purity and peace pours forth into the food from him, this pours forth into the other members and blesses them.  I might say that there are more ways than one of allowing the Spirit of God to enter the flesh of man.”  (Maha Chohan Electrons)

We get the validation from our friend or family member that we were right and “the culprit” is totally wrong. At the end of the conversation, when we are done venting, we say to our friend, “Thanks for Listening.”

When we take into consideration the Law of Attraction which states, “like attracts like”, or “what you think (or talk) about comes about,” do we really want to be telling our story all over again, creating more of what we don’t want? The irony is that we thank our friends for helping us to create more of the same exact thing that made us upset to begin with!

The world we live is in a mirror for all of our thoughts and beliefs. When someone gossips about you, it’s because you gossip too (even if it’s only once in awhile). When someone treats you with disrespect they are simply mirroring the disrespect that you feel toward yourself, but are unwilling to look at. When a parent allows their child to yell at them, and does not discipline them, on some level the parent believes they deserve it.

A client of mine was pregnant with her 2nd child and continuously thought that something bad was going to happen to her baby. She weekly attracted in women that told her horrifying stories about their complications with pregnancy and/or the birthing experience. When she and her husband excitedly shared the news of being pregnant with baby #2 with her mother in law, the response was that she was not going to say anything to anyone in case she had a miscarriage! (By the way,her mother in law did not say this when hearing the news of baby #1).

She lived with stories like this for months. She came for a session I asked her why she was attracting in all of these people and their terrible stories. Because like thoughts/beliefs attract like thought/beliefs and experiences, we decided to examine her beliefs around this baby. We found her belief to be that she did not deserve to have another healthy child, since she had already had one. We worked through that belief and shifted her worthiness around having another healthy child. THAT DAY was the last day she heard any horrifying stories about child birth, problems with pregnancy and the loss of a child. Her thoughts and beliefs had changed and her new experiences reflected that.

The only part of us that enjoys (and needs) to tell “our story” and how we were hurt is our ego/mind. It is looking for validation that it is right and the other person is in the wrong.

The empowering thing to do when something negative happens in life, is to become aware of our part in attracting it. We need to look in the mirror and take responsibility for our thoughts and beliefs. These are the very things that create our negative and positive life events. We have no one to blame for a negative event but ourselves and our sloppy thinking/beliefs. Look at each negative event as a gift. It’s the gift of showing us which limiting thoughts/beliefs to clean up to change our life for the better.

Whether you have children or not, getting a diagnosis like this is a scary one. It was a true test for my husband and me to stay present moment. I also had to make the decision of who to tell about this diagnosis. It could turn out to be nothing or it could turn out to be something, we would not know until the results were in from the MRI. The MOST important thing for me was to stay positive, not in denial but to take each moment and think not only positively but to send my son and specifically his neck loving thoughts and healing words. For this reason I decided to only tell a select few people that would be able to keep my son in loving, healing hands and send him tremendous healing light.

What many of us don’t realize is the power of our words. Everything in our world is energy, the grass, the table you eat breakfast on, the human body, each thought we have and each word we speak. Energy vibrates at different speeds depending on what it is. Positive thoughts vibrate higher (or faster) and negative thoughts or words carry a much lower (slower) vibration. This is why when we feel sad, our bodies feel heavier, slower vibrations feel heavy.

When people hear of someone that is sick, or worse in the hospital, they typically say, “I am so worried!” Worry is fear and when you have a thought that is from fear about someone it does not help them in the least bit, in fact it could add to their illness. There have been countless studies done on the power of prayer and the positive effect it has. Behind a prayer or positive thinking is a thought that carries a higher/healing vibration. When you are thinking of a sick person while in this higher vibrational state you are actually sending them healing energy.

Unfortunately I have had 2 friends that have lost their children to cancer. For one of them, the road was a long one, her son was sick for many years. There were times during  his illness when we would rally a group of  people to send her son light or healing thoughts and she would notice on her end healing shifts that her son would make during the time of our thoughts and prayers. One time I recall he had a terrible infection and it was creating a rash all over his chest, the doctors had tried numerous medications and nothing was working. We had decided to rally a large group to send him light and healing at precisely 3pm. My friend called me shortly thereafter saying that they could see the rash/infection shrinking before their eyes. The doctors had no medical reason for it and considered it a miracle.

Getting back to my son, there was a 24 hour period between the x-rays and the MRI. In that 24 hour period my son was sent tremendous loving /healing thoughts by a choice group of people.  His headaches stopped that day. The MRI we done and results were read to us the next day. There was nothing on the scans. They had no explanation of the previous spots on his neck from the x-rays and wanted to send him to a neurologist for further evaluation and migraine medication.

My husband and I left the office with huge smiles on our faces and thanked God for this gift we had received.  We realized what had happened and knew there would be no neurologist in our son’s future. We felt extremely grateful for the gifts that we had received from our friends and their powerful thoughts, visualizations and words. My son has not had a headache since and when I asked him yesterday how he was doing and if he had a headache his comment was, “No mom, please stop asking me…it’s done.” And I knew it was.

The power of words.

Here’s what happens:

Quantum physics has proven that when you break the human body down to the smallest particle, it’s energy vibrating. Likewise, our thoughts and emotions are also energy. Negative thought or negative emotion vibrates slower (which is why it feels heavier) and positive thought or emotion vibrates fast (which is why it feels light). Our energy field expands when we are in a good place, in fact, the more we step into a happy, or positive emotional place and feel it, the larger our energy field expands. Just to give you an idea, your energy field (if you are in a really great mood) can be in a 30 foot radius outside of your body.

Someone that is in a bad mood has dense, heavy energy around them and their field may be only inches off of their body. When you with your huge energy field, sweeps through their energy field, you pick up all of their “stuff,” all of their negative emotions. Now you have someone else’s despair, anger, frustration, stress etc. in your field and it weighs you down. This can happen at the grocery store, the mall, work, at lunch with friends etc.

A few of my own examples: A while back I had coffee with a friend. I had just finished writing a new workshop that I had been working on and was on cloud 9! We met for coffee, she had a smile on her face the whole time and things seemed great. However, I left there feeling so exhausted and depressed (out of the blue) and could not wait to get home to lie down and take a nap. I got home and before lying down I went outside and did a few things to “clear my field” and my energy bounced back to where I was before our coffee. I called my friend and I asked her how she felt during coffee and she said she was great until the end when we were getting ready to leave. She was hoping to see the guy she wanted to date and she didn’t and immediately felt depressed and exhausted. She had to go home and take a nap! So I picked up on her emotions, cleared them and “my” depression and fatigue immediately lifted and I went on with my great day. Another example happened recently with my husband. I was in a really energized, good mood, ready to stay up late and work after the kids were in bed. He got home from work and we had a conversation, after that my energy began to get low. I begrudgingly finished making dinner and could not wait to crawl into bed. I told my kids to call my husband for dinner and he was taking a bath and had fallen asleep! He came out and could not stop yawning. We put the kids to bed at 8:30 and crawled into bed, both of us exhausted. I lay there for a moment and remembered how energized I was, I traced it back to our conversation and realized his emotional state “slid” after our conversation and I picked up on him! I cleared myself and felt much better again. He later told me that your conversation really made him feel “off” emotionally. What you can do if this happens to you/clearing techniques:

1. Stomp your feet outside on the earth (or inside if it’s freezing out) and shake your arms then legs, as if throwing the energy off of them. You can also brush (with your hand) the energy off of your arms and legs as well. Hold the intention that you are shedding all energy and emotion that is not yours.
2. If you are a yoga person, the beginning of the sun salutation where you sweep your hands over your head, cleanses your energy/auric field.
3. Draw figure 8’s or the Infiniti symbol in your energy field, all over, big and small.
4. Visualize yourself taking a shower with beautiful cleansing light washing over your body and energy field. Again, hold the intention that you are cleansing your field of all negative energy and emotions that are not yours.

Awareness is the key to this. Pay attention to how you feel and when your feelings shift. It’s amazing how often we lose our happiness because of someone else’s emotions on us. Enjoy these easy techniques for maintaining your balanced emotional place.