What we focus on determines our state. When something happens in our day, we get to choose how we see it-through the eyes (or filter) of the love end of the spectrum or from the fear end of the spectrum. If we choose to see something from the fear side of the spectrum, we may experience anger, fear, frustration or perhaps resentment. It’s all a choice. Have you ever been with someone and watched a movie with them and you cry and they don’t or vice versa? Have you ever been with a group of friends and someone in that group told you about something that happened to them and that friend was raging mad and upset about it. But as you listened, you could not understand why she was so upset; in fact half the group could not see it. This is due to our filters of how we see and experience the world. If our filters are set in more of the fear spectrum, we will have experiences in our lives that get us upset or angry easily. We tend to experience more of the victim mentality if our filters are set down in fear.

Likewise, if we have filters that are more on the love side of the spectrum, we don’t get bothered by much and have happy, balanced days most days. It takes a lot to get us down. It’s like that saying goes, “Is your glass half empty or half full?” Half empty people live more on the fear side of the spectrum and half full live on the love side.

So how do we change? It’s a choice. When something in our experience happens, we in that moment get to choose how we react, most of us just react. The next time something happens, slow down and ask, “Is there any other way I can see this?” “Was my husband really just being mean to me or could he be upset about something else?” “I know my friend really loves me so her reaction doesn’t make sense to me, I’ll give her time.” or how about this one, “That guy just cut me off and almost hit my car…is it possible he isn’t thinking properly? Could something terrible have just happened in his life this morning?” I remember when my father passed away, I cut people off (unintentionally) and probably should not have been driving. There are ALWAYS many, many ways to see and interpret an experience. We base our reactions on our past and what our parents did or what we learned from friends or even media. We get to choose differently.

Empower yourself with your thoughts and ask yourself the next time something happens, “how can I see this from another person’s point of view, in fact let me see if there are multiple points of view and let me choose the one that feels best to me and makes me feel best about myself.”  Choose the thought that feels best and we begin to live from the love end of the spectrum and happiness will prevail and become our dominant emotional state.

The more we consciously choose coming from love the faster our neuro-pathways in our brain change and eventually coming from the love spectrum becomes our natural subconscious (automatic) preference.

Recently after having some interactions with a family member I felt a lot of anger and frustration bubble up inside of me.

As my day went on, I realized an hour had gone by since our interaction and I was still holding the negative emotions from our interaction.

When I tuned into my body, I felt shortness of breath, a knot in my stomach and a heaviness on my chest.

Thinking back to our interaction I realized (1) there was no solution to the problem (I could not fix her or the problem) and (2) I am allowing someone outside of myself to ruin my mood, my health and as time went on, my day.

By holding all of this negative energy, it hurts no one but me!

If I could see inside my body, I would guess my blood pressure had risen dramatically, the aging process had been accelerated due to all the stress chemicals being released and by holding this negative emotion to me to it disconnecting me from my connection to God/the universe. It’s like pinching off a hose with water running through it. I am doing this to myself!

So when in a mood or emotional place like this, with no resolution what can we do?

A technique that I find works remarkably well for instances like this is called The Sedona Method.

With the Sedona Method we ask ourselves a series of questions regarding our mood and/or emotional state. The question and response dialogue used with Sedona creates an outlet for stored negative emotion(s) to exit.

Here are the steps of this process: (I will use my experience as an example)

1. Ask yourself: “What is my NOW feeling?   (ANGER)
2. “Could I welcome or allow it?”  (YES)
3. “Could I let it go?”   (YES)
4. “Would I let it go?” (YES)
5. “When?”  (Now)

While asking these questions to yourself really tune into your body, many times you will actually feel the energy/emotions release out of your body. Really sit with each response to the question. Be honest with yourself.

If you should get a “No” answer to any of these questions, ask yourself this question: “Would you rather feel that feeling or be free?” Allow yourself to really sit with your response. Be easy on yourself with the answer, this is a process.

You can use this with yourself or with another person and ask them the questions. The idea behind this method is to continue to release emotions until you reach either a neutral or a happy place. For me, I released anger, frustration, resentment, fear then annoyance which eventually got me to a neutral place.  With each round my negative feeling state lessened.

Our emotions are layered and we must work through the layers to find neutral. The nice thing about Sedona is the speed at which you are able to shift. An experience like this for me took as little as 10 minutes to find neutral or happiness. Once you work this technique a few times you’ll find it to be as fast as it is easy to use.

For more information on the Sedona Method go to: www.sedona.com