My mind kept telling me that it would only get worse as the work/travel for work/sports/school- schedule went on. Less time, more to do, less time, more to do….(the broken record in my head). I began hearing myself state to my friends and family, “I have no time to get it all done!”” I’ll never get everything done.” “I’m so stressed!”

The kind, ever so perfect universe and the law of attraction simply matched my thoughts and beliefs of “so stressed and not enough time” and created for me more and more items on my to do list! So today I awoke with rapid heartbeat and the slight anxiety that I had had for days was full on anxiety, as I replayed my drama in my head.

I knew the only way out of this anxiety was to sit. Meditation is THE BEST drug on the market AND it’s FREE!  My ego/mind kept telling me for days that I had so much to do that I had no time to sit and “do nothing” (as my mind would tell me-(to meditate) so I kept pushing it off.

I chose to do it anyway…

In my meditation after a few minutes of silence I asked for guidance on how to help me to “find my way home.” I needed to hit “reset” on my life and get back to balance.

I immediately felt a “whoosh” in my heart center and then felt warmth fill me up and then expand out into the room. I sat in silence for minutes (which felt like an hour) and asked how to maintain this state. I heard very clearly the word, “Live in the Present.” I felt so light and peaceful, as if a warm comforter had been wrapped around me. I sat in gratitude for a few moments and decided to get up and go for a walk.

As I walked I saw the birds and the colors so differently, they were vibrant and beautiful, like I had never seen! I then had a thought about how I could not wait to blog about my experience and I began to think about what I was going to say. As my mind began to race again I heard very softly, “present.” I realized that I was completely out of the present and had allowed my ego/mind to take over and bring me into the future of writing my blog. I couldn’t believe how easily I had slipped out of that magnificent state. I chose to jump back in and as I did my power walk, I looked at everything as if seeing the outdoors for the first time. It was work to stay present moment as throughout the rest of the hour my mind kept drifting to the past or future and then I would redirect to present.

What an amazing walk I had. For those of us that have a difficult time sitting in silence and meditating, this is another fabulous way to meditate-Walking Meditation. It takes work and practice to live in the moment but the more we do it the easier it becomes.

Anything that can shift anxiety to peace in minutes is worth trying and incorporating into our daily routine. Even if it’s just for a few moments a day, practice living in the present, it’s where anxiety and stress DON’T live.

When we are confronted with a situation that we cannot repair, the next step simply for ourselves is acceptance. Put down your boxing gloves and just accept what is happening, it’s out of your control. By accepting the situation, our life energy is able to flow again, the depression/anxiety/rage dissipates and the dust settles. Clarity is the predominant state when we choose to accept a situation that we cannot change.

Acceptance is not for the benefit of the other person, it is for you and your own healing.

What has become very clear to me is that the “happy family” that we see at the soccer games, at the parties, at the restaurants sometimes isn’t so happy at home. When the family comes home and the door closes, the façade ends, and the truth comes out-unhappiness, feeling stuck, feeling overwhelmed with kids, the mortgage, the job that may or may not end, the spouse that you look at and feel, “who are you?”

What happens along the way is we get so caught up in our lives and the family that we lose sight of our spouse. They get pushed aside, kids and all of the responsibilities that go along with them seem to take first position on our lives and eat up all of our time and energy.

So if you are waking up and looking at your spouse and wondering if you want to be married anymore and if you have a good marriage (because you don’t know them anymore), pause and breath for a moment.

Consider these questions:

What is a good marriage?

A person that you grow with, share a few things in common and have common goals. A partner to walk your life path with, one that will stand by you in the good and the bad, one that has your back no matter what.

Is the grass greener on the other side?

The grass is NOT greener. Every person on this planet has issues. Every person has issues that they will bring to the table and when you move in with them/marry them, more and more issue will be exposed. A new spouse may not have the issues of your current spouse, but I guarantee you, he/she will have issues. Over time, the new person will erupt with “things” that will annoy you and irritate you.

How is your communication?

Communication is essential to any relationship but key to a good marriage. If you are not expressing yourself to your spouse you are burying all the negative feelings and I guarantee you they will come out someday, perhaps on your kids or your friends/family or even on your spouse when you decide you hate them and are leaving. Communicating your feelings in the moment is crucial for a solid marriage. Occasional arguing is actually a good thing with your spouse, it says that you communicate and are expressing your feelings. I am not saying to throw punches, scream and yell but to express how you feel at times may cause an argument because he other persons’ buttons get pushed. The key is in the resolving of the issue and that you are resolving together and not burying anything. Buried emotions lead to anger, resentment and even depression/anxiety.

Is your spouse in “first place?”

When we have kids, we tend to love them so much the spouse takes the back seat. Also, our family of origin, our mothers, fathers or siblings may be still first in our lives and again the spouse comes in second. To be solid in your marriage, you must place your spouse first, always. You and your spouse build the foundation for the family. It’s like the basement or foundation for a home, if it’s cracked and not stable it won’t support the weight of the house. How is your foundation?

What are you focusing on?

Are you focusing on your partner’s good qualities or the things that bug you or drive you crazy or even make you angry? To reconnect or build a marriage you must focus on and appreciate the good in your partner. Many people may say, “There is nothing!” There is always something, even the smallest thing is something to latch on to. If you focus on anything good, you will get more of it but if you focus on the bad, you will only get more of that too. It is universal law, law of attraction, what you focus on you get more of.

Have you taken responsibility for your “stuff?”

We all come from dysfunctional families; therefore, we all bring our own issues to the table in every relationship we are in. Many times if things are not working out it’s because of our own “stuff!” Look in the mirror and ask yourself, what you have contributed. Own your stuff and work on it. When we heal our “stuff,” we see our relationships through different eyes.

A good marriage takes work. With concerted effort from both partners, it’s worth it, happiness will prevail, and I speak from experience.